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1. pride or arrogance
After my second rep of today's wod I should have took a DNF. Instead I told myself it was okay to work through pain and refused to put up a DNF. You know what that is? STUPIDITY! Watch the video below of my second rep. It made my back twinge and I still continued, I thought about quitting in my second round of snatches but self-justified it with..."what if this happens at Sectionals" and finished through the wod. Honestly I just didn't want to ok the DNF. HUBRIS got in the way of common fucking sense.
Untitled from Rudy Tapalla on Vimeo.
If it looked bad on video it felt even worse. I fucking sabotaged myself!
830am
Started of 1k row 3:40 ish. Forgot to set the rower on countdown. Legs felt a little burnt out from yesterday so I took a while before I got into the wod.
10 GHD sit ups
10 Back extensions
930am
4 rounds of:
5 snatch
10 burpees
7:19? I don't even remember I was so flustered.
Second round I was having a mental dilemma of calling it quits and pressing on. I decide to go on. I'm fighting shit loads of pain in my back to continue. Dog starts barking and I stop mid snatch set up to yell at the dog. I lost my fucking count! In pain after doing my 5th, I do another one because I'm unsure on my count. I ended up doing 6 reps and the weight was already eating me alive. I swear that was mentally breaking down at it's finest. This one ranks up there with Freddy's Revenge for me. Not as mentally defeating but one of the hardest mental battles I have had in a wod. I had no clue that many things could go through my mind in split seconds.
I don't even remember the 3rd and 4th round. I already gave up, it was over and I was so mentally done.
I should have quit after that second rep and just restarted the WOD. Game day is Game day and I'll kill myself then... not today. I am an official self-saboteur! You don't understand, I fucking HATE these people. They are people that choose to do shit that get in the way of their ultimate goal. They are unable to commit to promises made. They talk one thing and screw themselves over the next.
I had a good long day of barbell work planned for today and I fucking not only wasted it, I may have set myself back a couple of days. It took my back about 4-5 hours to feel somewhat better. Oh yeah, I apologize if I was short with you or a dick with anyone earlier I really was in some fucking pain for while.
Well, let's drug it up and see what waking up tomorrow feels like...
I definitely saw your frustration but you put on a good face! It's a new day tomorrow!
ReplyDeleteThis seems to be an issue we're all working
ReplyDeleteon - knowing when to quit and when to push. We all seem to think that we can always push through it, but it's good we're at least aware of this. Maybe, hopefully, we'll get more accustomed to knowing when to stop when we're training for regionals!!
You know something is up when Rudy doesn't smile every 30 seconds. After watching the video, I can see why. That was so painful to watch, no way could I watch that again. Like a horror flick gone wrong.
ReplyDeleteI hope you feel better.