It started out pretty well, snatched 80kg (176#) for 5 singles with only one miss in the beginning. I got to the clean and jerk and I missed 115kg (253.5#), not once but twice. I wasn't just missing. It felt awfully heavy and I was trying to heave the weight around. Roger asked me what was going on and I had no clue. He asked me if I was sore (which I was slightly, but not enough to give me issues) and I said maybe a little in my lower back but nothing bad. He had me back it down for one last rep at 110kg (242#) which I made but it was neither pretty or easy. I almost made excuses for myself on the way home as I was figuring kilo convesions that it was ok to miss 253.5#. It's heavy right? Fuck that! If you can clean and jerk 270#s then 253# shouldn't be an issue.
I just left feeling DEFEATED. I QUESTIONED everything that I am currently doing. Is it really WORTH it to not CrossFit and focus on a sport that just kicked the shit out of me? CAN I actually hit the goals that I set for myself? Is trying to qualifying nationally OUT OF MY LEAGUE? Very FRUSTRATING!
Thursday night I hit the videos and reviewed and broke down my lifts. Over and over and over.
Still sore on Friday I worked on my snatch technique for 1.5 hours (it's the one the "Video Analysis" is from). Changed my start position and widened up my grip a ton.
Still sore on Saturday I pushed through my strength workout. Power snatches at 70.5kg (155# for triples and push press at 93kgs (205#) for triples regained my faith in what I'm doing. Just felt strong.
Even more sore, I rested on Sunday.
Still sore, I hang power snatched on Monday on the third attempt hit 93kg (205#)! Building back up my precious previously crushed ego.
Still sore on Tuesday (today) I still went in to see Roger. I was a bit shaken up over last weeks mishaps, but really excited to try the new setup/grip.
A pretty great day. Weights were feeling light. I quickly made it up to 90kg (198#). This is a weight I have never made at BG. First attempt I was almost surprised I got under it but couldn't hold the lockout. My second attempt was disastrous! I tried to save it coming up, almost ran in to the squat stand bailed it, bar hits a stand and shoots back clips me in the leg. Pretty embarrassing, but I'm not there to impress anyone. I'm there to battle my own demons. Third attempt I decided to go with a grip wider than I had ever used and nailed it. 90kg is not a voodoo "bad number" weight for me (that is really why I chose 91kg at the meet, even though snatching 200#s is pretty cool too).
As much as I wanted to snatch all day, Roger had me move on to cleans. Surprisingly, the weights felt great! I was able to fully extend, get a small little jump back, cruised up to 100kg (220#) and 110kg (242#) jerks were a little heavy in the front foot but everything good for the most part. I hit 115kg (253.5#) easily. I consulted with my coach that I continually failed at this weight last week, he advises me to go up small increments 117.5kg (359#) felt good, still extending and jumping back slightly, jerk was solid. He has me go up to 120kg (264.5#) still felt good, small jump back, slow dip in jerk but got under it easily. He asks me how it felt, I said it felt good. He asks me what I did in comp? 123kg. He asks me if I want to go 125kg... I never say no, when Roger asks "Do you want to try...") BAM nailed it! He asks me again, "One more?" As I said, Roger asks and I have yet to say no. "Throw the silvers on" (1.25kg plates). It pulled me very slightly forward but I got it. 281 pounds!!! Faith is restored and we are back on the positive mindset to the National Qualifying goal. NEW OLY TOTAL: 217.5!!!
I guess in a sport like this there are going to be good days and there are going to be not-so-good days... okay, I won't sugar coat it, there are going to be horribly shitty days that make me question myself. This last few days was a mental battle and I'm sure many more of these are to come. One of my new goals is to maintain the discipline to accept bad days and take advantage of good days. Like Coach B says, "WHEN THE FRYING PAN IS HOT, YOU DO THE COOKING!!!"
Love this! "okay, I won't sugar coat it, there are going to be horribly shitty days that make me question myself. This last few days was a mental battle and I'm sure many more of these are to come. One of my new goals is to maintain the discipline to accept bad days and take advantage of good days." This is totally my 2011 motto!! :-)
ReplyDeleteNice post Rudy- missing you guys. Getting settled in Boston prob due for a CFC visit soon! xo
ReplyDelete@Alison, I look forward to hearing about your battles in 2011!
ReplyDelete@Mo, Let us know when you are in Chicago!!!